Sustained.

Truth: Flourishing is possible even when promises are still pending.

Today marks 7 years. On August 21, 2019, I stepped out of the boat of stability and onto the promise of being protected.

Kept. Covered. SECURED.

My Source and Sustainer - the Lord God Almighty - called me away from my job of four years. Interestingly enough, the instruction was posed as a question:

Do you trust the stability you create for yourself OR the security I provide?

Photo by A. C. on Unsplash

The weight of His words hit differently as I now explore the question with 20/20 hindsight. As frustrated as I was with life back then, there was comfort in the predictability of a bi-weekly paycheck, truly affordable healthcare, and a hands-off supervisor who couldn’t care less about my random outbursts of laughter induced by whatever show I listened to while crushing my goals. The dichotomy of that role was interesting: it was cushy and suffocating. My insight was pulled on, but my intellect was never challenged. I was valued and respected but never invested in. Simply put, I was trading time for money to live beneath my potential. Not going to lie, writing that stings.

Enough faith journeys trailed behind as proof that (1) my faith in God usually overrides my fears, and (2) things never pan out the way I assume. Ever. Oh, but please believe the assuming ensued nonetheless! This good ol’ imagination of mine gift-wrapped my yes in the most beautiful vision of increase and ease, topped with a fancy, suddenly-embossed bow. Of course, reality wasted no time tearing through that delusion.

THE BIGGER THE INITIAL YES, THE MORE EXCRUCIATING, ESCALATING YESES YOU CAN EXPECT TO GIVE.

Your First “Yes” Isn’t Enough | The Leader’s Cut w/ Preston Morris feat. Tim Ross

Cousin Preston hit the nail on the head with that one! I thought the Lord was calling me away from the life of an employee to catapult me into a full-time entrepreneurial trifecta of life coaching, publishing, and speaking. Nah. In actuality, He secured my yes and then ushered me on a layered journey that continues unfolding.

The call wasn’t misleading; it was strategic. Leaning into suppositions rather than curiosity was my choice; Jehovah-Mekadesh’s will was that His Spirit lead me deeper into spiritual formation. To ensure that I got the memo, He sent a semi-stranger messenger with an on-time word:

I know you really do not know me well. I would like to share some things with you that came to my heart as I’m praying, even now.

LaToya, your face came before me as I was praying, as well as others. Then yours came back very clear, as if you were standing before me. I could envision laying my hands upon you under the direction of the Holy Spirit, praying and speaking to you from the Lord.

I know from following you on Facebook that you are doing many things. Here is what I heard: I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. (Psalm 32:8)

LaToya, my dear, I encourage you to increase your intimate time with the Father God - more times of fasting, worship, prayer, and His Word. It is a MUST.

There is something (the Holy Spirit disclosed what) that is missing, or that needs alignment in or with you. This I know for sure; it is only something the Lord can do. He is making it very clear to me now, in this moment, that He really desires to do this. I just heard this word: SURRENDER.

The woman whom I now affectionately call Mama Patricia inboxed me on February 1, 2020, the day that would’ve been my gramma’s 86th birthday. Our Father always knows how to get our attention. I entered into three days of prayer and fasting - no food, only water and unsweetened herbal tea. The time spent in consecration pushed back against my ego, allowing revelation to flow:

You are self-sufficient to a fault.

Does the Lord gather y’all like He gathers me?? I couldn’t even argue. It was true. Coping mechanisms that served me in past seasons were now working against my trust in Yahweh. I could throw a spiritual temper tantrum or surrender. I chose surrender.

My faith-boosting savings shrank with each passing month. My money went from sitting pretty to being funny and then hilarious. I was broke and breaking. All the while, revelation kept coming. I had peace beyond comprehension. I can testify that I never missed a meal or a bill, but reducing this refinement process to finances misses the point entirely.

A light was being shone on the shadowy areas of my soul that were hindering my ability to be a living epistle. Feelings of being less than enough weren’t my problem. Being too independent, too hard on myself and others, too convinced that I could help people who didn’t desire help, and fully persuaded that I needed to assist God with being God - those were just a few of my vices. Stepping away from my self-constructed stability and embracing this lesson of security in Christ required increased spiritual and emotional maturity. It necessitated transforming into a fully surrendered version of myself, for which I lacked vision. The call was to walk by faith, not by sight.

Would I trust whatever stability and false sense of control I manufactured for myself, or would I wholeheartedly rely on security in Christ?

My Ever-Present Teacher was training me to match new faith leaps with new faith levels. These aren’t in contrast to or a replacement for previous levels. Each one builds upon the next in the same way that pre-cal prepares one for calculus. If you’ve experienced the duo, you know both are beasts!

Faith level-ups demand an increase in dying to self. Yeah, so not the increase I had in mind. Nevertheless, I surrendered… and continued surrendering… and keep surrendering.

IT IS POSSIBLE TO HEAR RIGHT AND INTERPRET WRONG.

Dr. Dharius Daniels

It’s been seven years, and guess what! My business never fully got off the ground. As a matter of fact, I received a holy heads-up to dissolve it earlier this year. Ha! Get this: I am still single, still childless, back to being an employee, and THRIVING. Who knew flourishing was possible while promises are still pending!

What started as a temporary part-time job in January of 2022 has morphed into a 35-hour/week role as a department-of-one HR professional for a privately owned manufacturing company. Here I am strategic and creative; the policy creator and prayer warrior; the coach and confidant. The general manager is my work bestie, and our team members think of me as their work mom, even though the vast majority are older than me. I have the space and privilege of being all of whom God created me to be, an experience I once assumed only entrepreneurship could provide.

As this completion-year anniversary neared, I reflected on the past seven years: the wins, losses, laughter, breaking, and rebuilding. I marvel at how the God of the universe is using a 60-person, dirty manufacturing facility to soften my rough edges, further develop the nurturer in me, and reveal that a thriving solo entrepreneurial endeavor would’ve driven me further into self-sufficiency and away from His will for my life.

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Secured Lessons

• We are all called to be co-laborers with Christ. I am also called to co-labor with others as a marketplace minister. Joseph didn’t proselytize Egypt, and yet his presence saved the nation because the Lord gave him strategies. Sometimes our presence in organizations is what ensures adequate vessels are gathered for the oil to flow.

• Being sustained by the Holy One of heaven includes some necessary stripping away. Chronic independence had to go. The need for control had to go. Assumptions about what God meant when He said what He said had to be released. Limiting beliefs connected to not being able to build with others are still being torn down brick by brick. (I’m pretty sure pride is the mortar holding those bricks together.)

• Ambiguity fills the space between our present reality and the manifestation of God’s promises. Not seeing the bridge from here to there doesn’t mean a way can’t be made out of no way.

I have grieved what I thought would be and continue to express gratitude for the goodness of God that presently engulfs me. Life is lovely, and I truly mean that…

I’m safe

Sustained

Always

In the hand of God

Hand of God x Todd Galberth & Chandler Moore

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae