My response to her question? “It probably got added after someone’s arm was chopped off.”

The aftermath of unforeseen variables teaches us how to cover our bases better…but better isn’t perfect. No perfectionist or chronic planner wants to hear that there will always be gaps in our best-constructed strategies and ambiguity stitched into our unfolding destinies. That’s life in all its topsy-turvy glory, though, right?

There is an adage that says to be surprised by the inevitable is naive, and to be unprepared for the inevitable is irresponsible. I am neither naive nor irresponsible, but I only agree with this maxim to a degree. The Apostle Paul wrote, “We see in part, and we prophesy in part.” God is all-knowing; we are not.

A skilled project manager can understand the importance of leaving margin for unknown unknowns and still have their project totally derailed by a tornado leveling the construction site weeks before the facility is set to open. The need to tuck away a rainy-day fund is common knowledge because, sure enough, life will eventually send a downpour that only cash can catch. However, we can agree that a stage 4 cancer diagnosis feels more like a tsunami than a blown transmission ever could.

How do we prepare our hearts for the guarantees of life, like disappointment, grief, heartbreak, and betrayal? How does the Blood-bought believer preemptively stabilize their soul in expectation of hopes being shattered, the back-to-back loss of loved ones, and a trusted confidant proving to be untrustworthy? What’s the plan or checklist for getting ready to take emotional blow after blow after blow? I didn’t have the cheat code for simultaneously counting the cost and counting it all joy when an extended season of compound grief wreaked havoc on my nervous system.

Maybe you don’t have the cheat code either. And that’s okay. We’re all learning. Sometimes our aha moment comes before an arm gets chopped off. At other times, we figure it out after we metaphorically lose a limb. I will share with you what layered grief taught me and maybe, just maybe, it will help to strengthen the guard of your heart.

For me, grief looked like so many close-to-home deaths from January 2022 through May 2024 that even now, I refuse to count them for fear of being thrust back into overwhelming sorrow. Add to that stepping away from my church home of four years and, subsequently, losing some friendships that I held dear, the final release of long-hoped-for love, a mentor whose spiritual covering turned into an unhealthy grip, and the rise and fall of poorly timed new love. If being emotionally asthmatic is a thing, that was me. Thriving wasn’t even a goal; I just wanted to breathe with ease.

“The light in your eyes is gone.”

The straightforward yet compassionate indictment cut through me like a double-edged sword. Pastor Pops, as I call him, heard beyond my words. Although I claimed to just be tired, he knew I was on the brink of growing weary in well-doing, if not already there.

“Take a week off from work to be with the Father.” When I countered that since I only worked three days per week, seeking the Lord on my off days would suffice, he made it crystal-clear that he said what he said. I lacked the strength to wrestle with him or God, so I relented.

There, in a quaint Airbnb in Franklin, Tennessee, the long-overdue inevitable happened. I peacefully broke. The sobs and tears gushed out with no opposition from me. I prayed…cried…journaled…repented. I admitted to having projected my disappointment in people onto God. I owned the immaturity of running swiftly with revelation rather than returning to God’s presence with curiosity that would have reduced the likelihood of hearing correctly but interpreting incorrectly.

As cleansing as my getaway was, more healing was on the horizon. The “more” was gaining awareness of the enemy’s true intentions. The compound grief I experienced was real, visceral, and weighty. Still, the adversary wasn’t nearly as determined to inflict sadness on me as he was to sneakily erode my joy without me knowing. Yes, depleting my joy was his goal. The more his fiery darts struck the bullseye, the more my joy diminished.

But God.

In the weeks that followed my much-needed solitude, gratitude poured out from my heart as light began breaking through the dark clouds that had loomed overhead, first as a trickle of thanksgiving and then as impromptu testimony services. I felt myself returning to me, the God-breathed version of myself. The gifts and callings of God are without repentance, so creativity never left. (Romans 11:29). Now, though, bits and pieces of clarity were trailing on the heels of joy! With joy and clarity came hope!

The return of hope testified to the truth that the joy of the Lord is indeed my strength. (Nehemiah 8:10). Thus far, my greatest aha moment on the Light side of layered grief is this: Hope is weighty. The joy of the Lord provides the supernatural strength required to stand in hope and to hold onto hope.

Cheat Code: Practice gratitude in every season. Declare it. Write it. Live it!

Life is inevitably going to life, sometimes in the most severe ways. As cliché as it may sound, gratefulness truly shifts our focus from our circumstances to the unchanging nature of our Lord. As we draw near to Him, He draws near to us. (James 4:8). As we release praise in His presence, the path of life is seen more clearly, and joy comes flooding in. (Psalm 16:11). Joy gives us the strength to hope and keep hoping; believe and keep believing; persevere and keep persevering.

My dear friend, the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13, NKJV

Every word carries meaning. They are vehicles that transport messages and concepts not only to our ears but also to our hearts. Words are seeds that burrow into the recesses of our souls, their unannounced roots growing long and strong. Their shoots spring up as thought patterns and belief systems that bear the fruit of habits and character traits.

As a familiar phrase rolled off my tongue this past weekend, Holy Spirit nudged me to interrogate my use of the word just.

Just (adv)

1. within a brief preceding time; but a moment before

2. exactly or precisely

3. by a narrow margin; barely

4. only or merely

5. actually; really; positively

Let’s lean into the highlighted definition for a bit. This meaning suggests normalcy at best and inadequacy at worst. Because words have the power to embolden or restrict, “just” is not just a word.

We clothe ourselves in phrases like:

I just have a high school diploma.

I’m just one person.

I’m just a mom.

All the while, “just” is acting as a skilled brick mason, building a fortress between us and the Word’s mirroring power, blocking the rich revelation of us being made in God’s image and surrendered to His lordship.

“Just” downplays the mountains we have climbed and the wildernesses we have crossed. It leads with the assumption that current circumstances are a challenge for the Author and Finisher of our faith, as if His plot twists aren’t second to none.

“Just” overlooks how what we do with ease is the strategy, system, or artistry that unleashes the locked-up potential in the lives of others.

I’m just obedient. This has been my go-to response for years when being thanked for acts of obedience, like creating spaces for greatness to gather and the oil to flow; setting my journal readings to music and releasing them as albums; publishing a devotional for men as a reminder to rest in their divine sonship.

These seven red-letter words stuck out to me as a teen. The verse took hold in my heart. I internalized the connection between love for God and obedience to God, but not in a fearful way. This wasn’t about adhering to rules; it was (and remains) a call to walk intimately with my Redeemer, who doubles as my Teacher. It is knowing that being led by the Spirit causes us to live, love, and lead like Jesus.

“I’m just obedient” wasn’t rooted in churchiness or false humility. It was my simplified way of articulating my commitment to the “big three” that every believer is called to: Love God. Love people. Make disciples. What other people perceived as unusual obedience, I viewed as hearing and obeying from a posture of devotion. Until a few days ago, “I’m just obedient” served as an underdeveloped explanation of my why. Now that I’ve been checked by the Holy One, allow me to explain it better:

What others witness and commend is (I almost typed just) my submission in motion. It is willful obedience - the result of giving my yes without knowing exactly what it will produce. Sometimes I leap into the unknown. At other times, the journey is a slow walk of placing one foot in front of the other while hoping and praying that ambiguity gives way to understanding. Either way, I am moving forward by faith rather than sight. I am following the Holy Spirit’s lead.

I am not just obedient. I am lovingly surrendered.

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae

Whom the Son sets free is free indeed. Freedom is accessible through the Son, and still, to dwell in freedom requires warfare.

⁴ The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5, NIV)

freedom (noun) - exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

I sense Holy Spirit compassionately shouting, “THE FIGHT IS FIXED!”

The war for freedom is indeed a fixed fight. Christ secured my victory on Calvary and empowers me by His Spirit to win every battle.

The adversary uses every chance he gets to remind me of the lingering sting of disappointment and confusion that ensues once hearts are revealed. He calls to my attention the embarrassment of regaining almost all of the weight I released during my pandemic-era wellness journey. I feel ashamed for having consumer debt after tasting the satisfaction of being debt-free.

As fulfilled as I am in life, being asked why I’m still single and why I don’t have kids makes me feel insecure. Deficient. At fault for my relationship status. Is singleness a curse? No. Is marriage evidence of unwavering faith?? Nope. My mind knows these things, but my emotions are forgetful. Nearing 41 doesn’t help. Family members, coworkers, and medical professionals refuse to let me forget that my biological clock is ticking. I know, y’all. I KNOW. Holding onto a promise becomes warfare when concerned questions morph into mini crowbars determined to pry your fingers off those thus-saith-the-Lord journal entries pertaining to becoming a wife and mother.

Yes, freedom is available. Also, the idea of freedom can be just as foreign as it is alluring. I know what it is in theory, but what does it look like to continually live in freedom? As I write, Holy Spirit is reminding me that peace once sounded foreign to me. Peace is home now. Joy was once far away. Now, it is seen in my eyes and my smile. Joy fills my heart and radiates from my life. Even strangers will attest to that.

The enemy wants me to believe that fear is foreign, because holding that belief close to my heart keeps me in a state of self-sabotage. If I bravely admit that fear is more familiar than foreign, I will also admit to being afraid of the unknown costs associated with unapologetically contending for the promise of freedom. Being honest about allowing fear to hang close causes the scales to fall from my eyes, revealing the areas in which self-sabotage has strategically resurfaced. Ahh, there it is! We’ve come this far. Might as well unpack it:

Self-sabotage prevents me from trusting my ability to discern God’s voice concerning matters of the heart. One too many almost-but-not-quite experiences weigh extra heavily on the heart, especially when alignment takes a sharp turn toward apathy and consideration turns cold.

Self-sabotage is the altar that beckons me to kneel at the feet of self-sufficiency, all the while luring me away from softness. Its aim is for me to exalt lion-likeness over lamb-likeness even though the Lord leads me in living at the intersection of both! Wisdom has taught me that a soft answer turns away wrath. (Proverbs 15:1). Leading with the lamb gives the lion time to rest, recover, and emerge only when righteously necessary. Self-sufficiency leads to self-protection, and self-protecting is evidence of my distrust of the Father’s favor that rests on my life - the favor that secures me within a hedge of protection and guards me with angelic forces.

Self-sabotage leads to overeating and unnecessary spending as a means of self-soothing. I am filled with and encompassed by the Comforter, yet choosing lesser, damaging faux comforts. Lord, help! Less of me and more of You is what I need.

Strongholds can be pulled down. Arguments can be cast down. Anti-freedom thoughts CAN BE TAKEN CAPTIVE.

I can be free because whom the Son sets free is free indeed. I am willing, able, and empowered to walk in freedom. It’s time to contend…

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae

The way you see me

Sometimes I see pain, Lord

When you see victory

I see where I am, Lord

You see where I shall be

Open my eyes, help me believe

I am what you see

I Am What You See, led by William Murphy

Do you have pull-through albums? I’m talking about those anointed projects that serve as lights in the darkness, compilations of songs that speak to your soul during the heaviest of times. Bishop Paul Morton’s Cry Your Last Tear album is in my Top 3. From 2008 until now, it has faithfully served as a spiritual defibrillator when I need to be shocked back to remembrance of who God is and who I am in Him.

Imagine my surprise when the shock of conviction hit my heart as Holy Spirit brought the lyrics of Track 7 to remembrance earlier this week. The problem wasn’t actually seeing myself incorrectly.

Yeah, that one stung a little bit. Did you clutch your pearls, too? Maybe I’m not alone in wrapping myself in the reassurance of “Behold, all things are made new,” while struggling, forgetting, or refusing to see others beyond their filthy rags.

But plenty of people have called out my name in the Secret Place.

Someone has boldly taken their concern for you before the throne of grace.

Individuals, known and unknown, have prayed for us with tears streaming down their faces.

And they continue doing so because we have yet to “arrive.” We are works in progress who aren’t where we are in life (naturally or spiritually) by our merit alone.

⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not of works, lest anyone should boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

By grace we are saved. By grace and the effectual, fervent prayers of the saints, we go from glory to glory.

Self-centric vision is evidence that pride has slithered into our quiet time with messages of hopelessness. It’s not that we believe we are hopeless or that our situation won’t divinely encounter a suddenly. Oh, no, no. We believe we are clothed in righteousness and pursued by goodness and mercy! The problem is we cling to the belief that he/she/they are hopeless.

A lost cause.

Unworthy of our intercession.

We rejoice in our now and look forward to the future with expectation while selectively forgetting the previous unrefined versions of ourselves.

The love of God flowing through His children compels them and continues compelling them to intercede for us. They stand in the gap to war against our shortcomings and to contend for our breakthroughs and the need for a deeper revelation of mercy.

Glasses and contact lenses correct nearsightedness and farsightedness. However, humility is the remedy for shortsightedness. Sanctified vision equips us to see that people are more than their current state. A good memory humbly reminds us of our unredeemed selves, not for the sake of condemnation but to ensure that compassion abounds. Who someone is at the moment isn’t who they always have to be. The chains of right now can be broken!

Gideon moved beyond cowering in a wine press.

Elizabeth broke through the barriers of biology to birth John the Baptist.

Paul awakened to the truth of the Risen One and laid down his murderous ways to become a minister of the Gospel.

You are more than able

You are more than able

You are more than able

You are more than able

Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?

More Than Able x Elevation Worship feat. Chandler Moore & Tiffany Hudson

I am eternally grateful for those who didn’t count me out when I spewed truth void of grace and leaned toward judgmentalism.

I am thankful for the ones who held up my arms in the spirit when hope became too heavy and for those who allowed me to feel grief while earnestly praying for me to not become its prey.

I thank God for the many who simultaneously see where I am and where I shall be in the months, years, and decades to come. They stitch those visions together with intercession. Their prayers fuel me forward.

Surely, you have testimony after testimony of how the Love-led prayers of others altered the course of your life.

Let us commit to doing for others what countless souls have done for us.

Our willingness to stand in the gap for frustrated men, burdened women, deprived children, and the forgotten elderly shifts them beyond their current circumstances and limiting beliefs to a personal revelation of, “Behold, I AM MADE NEW!”

Lord Jesus, our High Priest, You are more than able, and we are humbly willing to bathe Your image-bearers in prayer.

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae

Certainty is a beautiful thing! Don’t you agree? Although chronic independence stays at bay for the most part, every now and again a good ol’ false sense of security feels well with my soul. Something about crossing every t and dotting every i allows me to forget, if only for a moment, that there are 24 more letters of the alphabet running amok. No matter how well I manage the mundane, some curl loses its coil, my eyes miss bell peppers on the grocery list, or a pricey car repair pops up out of nowhere. Dangit!

It is human nature to believe we can be hypervigilant enough to ward off surprises, inconveniences, and uncertainty. Alas, we cannot. Furthermore, a life of faith comes with guaranteed ambiguity.

Case(s) in point…

Abram walked away from family and familiarity before “ham” got tacked onto his name and a promise was decreed. He took steps toward destiny without an inkling of what that meant, where it was, or who he would become. Abram went anyway.

Now the Lord said to Abram, “Get out of your country, from your family, and from your father’s house, to a land that I will show you.” (Genesis 12:1)

Ruth didn’t know what awaited her in Bethlehem or if there was anything there for her at all! What she was certain of was that her devotion to Naomi meant nothing was left for her in Moab. That was enough. Ruth went anyway.

But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. (Ruth 1:16)

The sun-scorched brookbed of Cherith had nothing left to offer. Yet, the instruction to expect provision from a polytheistic widow couldn’t have felt promising either. Elijah went anyway.

Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. See, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you. (1 Kings 17:9)

Jesus -the Lamb slain before the foundation of the world- came to earth knowing that suffering, humiliation, and a brutal death were inevitable. He descended and ascended, lacking clarity regarding the time of His return. Jesus went anyway.

But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. (Mark 13:32)

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.

Corrie ten Boom

Certain (adj.)

1. Free from doubt or reservation; confident; sure

2. Destined; sure to happen

3. Inevitable; bound to come

What will you do?

What will I do?

What will we do?

We are unsure of when “due season” will come, and growing weary in well-doing is naturally justifiable, but we choose not to lose heart.

We believe for breakthroughs and suddenlies. We hope for miracles, signs, and wonders while traversing through wilderness seasons and marching around metaphorical mountains. Having done all to stand and hoping against hope, we tether ourselves to the faithfulness of El Shaddai. We trust Holy Spirit to guide us through the unknown that He knows.

We go anyway, certain that He who began a good work in us will finish what He started. (Philippians 1:6).

The Lord said to me, “You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that My word is fulfilled.” (Jeremiah 1:12)

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae

Kept. Covered. SECURED.

My Source and Sustainer - the Lord God Almighty - called me away from my job of four years. Interestingly enough, the instruction was posed as a question:

Do you trust the stability you create for yourself OR the security I provide?

The weight of His words hit differently as I now explore the question with 20/20 hindsight. As frustrated as I was with life back then, there was comfort in the predictability of a bi-weekly paycheck, truly affordable healthcare, and a hands-off supervisor who couldn’t care less about my random outbursts of laughter induced by whatever show I listened to while crushing my goals. The dichotomy of that role was interesting: it was cushy and suffocating. My insight was pulled on, but my intellect was never challenged. I was valued and respected but never invested in. Simply put, I was trading time for money to live beneath my potential. Not going to lie, writing that stings.

Enough faith journeys trailed behind as proof that (1) my faith in God usually overrides my fears, and (2) things never pan out the way I assume. Ever. Oh, but please believe the assuming ensued nonetheless! This good ol’ imagination of mine gift-wrapped my yes in the most beautiful vision of increase and ease, topped with a fancy, suddenly-embossed bow. Of course, reality wasted no time tearing through that delusion.

Your First “Yes” Isn’t Enough | The Leader’s Cut w/ Preston Morris feat. Tim Ross

Cousin Preston hit the nail on the head with that one! I thought the Lord was calling me away from the life of an employee to catapult me into a full-time entrepreneurial trifecta of life coaching, publishing, and speaking. Nah. In actuality, He secured my yes and then ushered me on a layered journey that continues unfolding.

The call wasn’t misleading; it was strategic. Leaning into suppositions rather than curiosity was my choice; Jehovah-Mekadesh’s will was that His Spirit lead me deeper into spiritual formation. To ensure that I got the memo, He sent a semi-stranger messenger with an on-time word:

I know you really do not know me well. I would like to share some things with you that came to my heart as I’m praying, even now.

LaToya, your face came before me as I was praying, as well as others. Then yours came back very clear, as if you were standing before me. I could envision laying my hands upon you under the direction of the Holy Spirit, praying and speaking to you from the Lord.

I know from following you on Facebook that you are doing many things. Here is what I heard: I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. (Psalm 32:8)

LaToya, my dear, I encourage you to increase your intimate time with the Father God - more times of fasting, worship, prayer, and His Word. It is a MUST.

There is something (the Holy Spirit disclosed what) that is missing, or that needs alignment in or with you. This I know for sure; it is only something the Lord can do. He is making it very clear to me now, in this moment, that He really desires to do this. I just heard this word: SURRENDER.

The woman whom I now affectionately call Mama Patricia inboxed me on February 1, 2020, the day that would’ve been my gramma’s 86th birthday. Our Father always knows how to get our attention. I entered into three days of prayer and fasting - no food, only water and unsweetened herbal tea. The time spent in consecration pushed back against my ego, allowing revelation to flow:

You are self-sufficient to a fault.

Does the Lord gather y’all like He gathers me?? I couldn’t even argue. It was true. Coping mechanisms that served me in past seasons were now working against my trust in Yahweh. I could throw a spiritual temper tantrum or surrender. I chose surrender.

My faith-boosting savings shrank with each passing month. My money went from sitting pretty to being funny and then hilarious. I was broke and breaking. All the while, revelation kept coming. I had peace beyond comprehension. I can testify that I never missed a meal or a bill, but reducing this refinement process to finances misses the point entirely.

A light was being shone on the shadowy areas of my soul that were hindering my ability to be a living epistle. Feelings of being less than enough weren’t my problem. Being too independent, too hard on myself and others, too convinced that I could help people who didn’t desire help, and fully persuaded that I needed to assist God with being God - those were just a few of my vices. Stepping away from my self-constructed stability and embracing this lesson of security in Christ required increased spiritual and emotional maturity. It necessitated transforming into a fully surrendered version of myself, for which I lacked vision. The call was to walk by faith, not by sight.

Would I trust whatever stability and false sense of control I manufactured for myself, or would I wholeheartedly rely on security in Christ?

My Ever-Present Teacher was training me to match new faith leaps with new faith levels. These aren’t in contrast to or a replacement for previous levels. Each one builds upon the next in the same way that pre-cal prepares one for calculus. If you’ve experienced the duo, you know both are beasts!

Faith level-ups demand an increase in dying to self. Yeah, so not the increase I had in mind. Nevertheless, I surrendered… and continued surrendering… and keep surrendering.

Dr. Dharius Daniels

It’s been seven years, and guess what! My business never fully got off the ground. As a matter of fact, I received a holy heads-up to dissolve it earlier this year. Ha! Get this: I am still single, still childless, back to being an employee, and THRIVING. Who knew flourishing was possible while promises are still pending!

What started as a temporary part-time job in January of 2022 has morphed into a 35-hour/week role as a department-of-one HR professional for a privately owned manufacturing company. Here I am strategic and creative; the policy creator and prayer warrior; the coach and confidant. The general manager is my work bestie, and our team members think of me as their work mom, even though the vast majority are older than me. I have the space and privilege of being all of whom God created me to be, an experience I once assumed only entrepreneurship could provide.

As this completion-year anniversary neared, I reflected on the past seven years: the wins, losses, laughter, breaking, and rebuilding. I marvel at how the God of the universe is using a 60-person, dirty manufacturing facility to soften my rough edges, further develop the nurturer in me, and reveal that a thriving solo entrepreneurial endeavor would’ve driven me further into self-sufficiency and away from His will for my life.

Secured Lessons

• We are all called to be co-laborers with Christ. I am also called to co-labor with others as a marketplace minister. Joseph didn’t proselytize Egypt, and yet his presence saved the nation because the Lord gave him strategies. Sometimes our presence in organizations is what ensures adequate vessels are gathered for the oil to flow.

• Being sustained by the Holy One of heaven includes some necessary stripping away. Chronic independence had to go. The need for control had to go. Assumptions about what God meant when He said what He said had to be released. Limiting beliefs connected to not being able to build with others are still being torn down brick by brick. (I’m pretty sure pride is the mortar holding those bricks together.)

• Ambiguity fills the space between our present reality and the manifestation of God’s promises. Not seeing the bridge from here to there doesn’t mean a way can’t be made out of no way.

I have grieved what I thought would be and continue to express gratitude for the goodness of God that presently engulfs me. Life is lovely, and I truly mean that…

I’m safe

Sustained

Always

In the hand of God

Hand of God x Todd Galberth & Chandler Moore

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae

Or something better came along.

Or the situation is toxic.

There are simply times when our eyes become open to the deficits in our reality. The Holy Spirit gently shifts our gaze to the areas where:

• Accepting good has caused us to fall short of greatness.

• We are in committed relationships with distractions as destiny two-steps against the wall, waiting for the opportune time to cut in.

• Cozying up with comfort has pulled the wool over our eyes. We blamed clarity for being evasive when, in reality, we turned a blind eye while snuggling up with familiarity because, well, it felt more familiar.

Stepping into wide open spaces of promise and possibility requires boldness. Doing so takes faith and grit and tenacity.

If only stepping into the unknown were merely about mustering up faith, resolve, and courage! More is required of thee. Ugh! More is required of me. More is required of us. Like looking back to extract life lessons that were left unharvested and looking ahead to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith, trusting that His faithfulness accompanies us through every plot twist and hard place. Wait, though. We still have to look around...

Where are the welcomed resource thieves? Y’all been kickin’ it, haven’t you?

Who are the beloved culprits who steal our time, tone down our talents, and tie up our finances? Who is reinforcing the notion that we are less than/not enough/insufficient?

But they...

But they what? What are they being allowed, invited, and possibly encouraged to do? Blame-shifting is too easy. Let’s lean into the hard work of accountability, shall we?

Accountability requires awareness.

I walked through two breakups in less than four weeks. Aht, aht! Before you prejudge my character, get curious about my predicament.

The first one was extremely difficult. I vacillated for three months - I’m talkin’ 90 WHOLE DAYS - before calling it quits. Something about that experience emboldened me, though. It proved that I am still capable of embracing change, even if slowly.

Then came the second breakup. Baby, that was light work!

This time, hesitation was replaced by immediate resolve. An early morning email, reminding me of our commitment to one another, was enough for me to arrive at, “Nah. I’m done. Go in peace, love.”

I AM BUILT FOR THIS.

For being done. For being decisive. For being determined to live in the awareness that I am the Father’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which He prepared in advance for me to walk in. Live out. Thrive in. (See Ephesians 2:10).

So, yeah, just like that, it was a wrap for my Netflix account. I bid adieu to my Squarespace website too. I’ve long since ghosted Facebook and Instagram, but I’ll give the dynamic a little shine. We were cool for a good lil’ minute, but good things come to an end. Honestly, we touch base here and there, but the thrill is gone. We don’t vibe like we used to.

Once things change, they are never the same. I am learning to be okay with that. Change is just as necessary as it is inevitable. No need in fighting it. It is possible to be done or insert distance without any love being lost.

“Toya, is it really that serious?” I can’t and won’t speak for you, but for me, it is.

This iteration of becoming the me necessary for this season/level/era demands focus. Decisiveness and alignment are paramount. I am ever-learning just how much alignment calls for strategic releases.

I am finally at peace with peacing done. I am letting go of that which reflects past seasons of fun and even fruitfulness to better focus on releasing my voice as an instrument of wisdom and truth wrapped in personality.

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae

It’s happening.

Once fixed positions are expanding.

The pain and intensity are increasing.

Is that…wait…nausea??

Should this feel like...be like... UGGGGHHH!

PUSH. BREATHE. PUSH. BREATHE. PUUUSSSSHHHHH.

Conception was an exertion of energy in the most exciting way. This sweat session ain’t that! Flashes of the future lit up the imagination like a spectacularly unprecedented celebration of newness. The sounds of promise. The vision of fulfillment. So alluring! The process for arriving at next was envisioned as dreamy assumptions of planning, co-laboring, and executing with precision until the day - this day - made its debut. There is no celebratory bouquet or balloon arch elaborate enough to overshadow these birth pangs.

Mama said there’ll be days like this

There’ll be days like this, my mama said

Mama said, Mama said

The Shirelles

She said it. Others did too, but all the calm words of caution fall short of expressing the physical, mental, and spiritual demands - the undignified grit - of birth. I suppose that’s why it’s called labor. It’s a labor of love, for sure!

PUSH. BREATHE. PUSH. BREATHE. Almost there!

What an odd sense of aloneness this is. In a space filled with experts and support, the brunt of the work still rests on one person’s shoulders. One is bringing forth life in a way that will completely, instantly alter life as she knows it. So, does that make this place an altar dedicated to the demise of what was? Behold, all things are becoming new. She is becoming new.

CATCH YOUR BREATH. NOW, PUUUSSSSHHHHH!

Never has it been more apparent that almost doesn’t count. “Almost” may as well be an invitation to retreat, bow out, throw up an anti-friendly finger and walk away, because THIS right here is crazy! But what’s stirring on the inside is life. This life was decreed by Life. The name has been spoken over and over again. The love is real. The finish line isn’t just in sight; it is within reach. There is an expectation and obligation to see it through.

This is the point of no return. One. Two. Three. PUUUSSSSSHHHH!!

Here is where the final yes is given. Through clenched teeth and with a furrowed brow, another yielding takes place. It’s not defeat, even though it is a release of control. Here is where wisdom gets strung together by three words: Lord, I surrender. Surrender is the gateway through which supernatural strength flows. The supernatural is needed because this journey extends beyond a person’s natural ability to endure. Yield to the process.

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NLT)

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. (1 Peter 5:10, NIV)

³ And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5:3-5, NKJV)

Conserve your energy by letting go of comparison. This journey is uniquely yours. Own the individuality of your experience. No two birth stories are the same. EVER. Our Father designed it this way - your deep inhales and forceful exhales, your pushing, the labor you endured to release light into the world.

LET IT SHINE.

LET IT SHINE.

LET. IT. SHINE.

In the Mood For by .

The Healing Space Podcast by Ambi Shantay.

A soon-to-be-birthed all-in-one planner that organizes one’s schedule while watering their soul, by Ariel Lane.

We receive your labor of love, ladies. Thank you for pushing.

The routine goes as follows: I turn off the alarm on my sunrise clock between 4:15 and 4:20 on workdays. In actuality, my alarm is set for 4:40 AM but has never had the privilege of rousing me from slumber. My internal clock never misses. Still, I continue to set it as a precautionary measure.

These are commuter hours…but I don’t commute. I commune. Intentionally awaking two hours early for a job that is less than 10 minutes away gives me time and space to soak in God’s presence. I’ve found no better way to start my day.

This morning, though, the Lord began speaking before my eyes had a chance to open.

WHAT I SAW

After a series of car-related inconveniences and malfunctions while traveling to attend a worship event in Paducah, Kentucky (of all places), I arrived home to find my bedroom wall leaking. What??

Water pockets were forming behind an oil painting of a heart, which was plastered to the wall. One by one, the bubbles bulged and burst under and around the painting, causing water to run down the wall.

I called the office to notify maintenance. As I was explaining what was happening in real time, it occurred to me that this was the wall facing the parking lot. THE OUTER WALL. All the plumbing is on the opposite side of my unit. This makes no natural sense.

I look to the left to see the sun shining through my blinds; the water is still running to my right. It’s a bright, sunny-shiny day with not a drop of rain in sight.

That’s when I woke up.

WHAT GOD SPOKE

It’s time for breakthrough. Believe what I reveal more than you believe what you see and feel.

So David went to Baal Perazim, and there he defeated them. He said, “As waters break out, the Lord has broken out against my enemies before me.” So that place was called Baal Perazim. (2 Samuel 5:20)

HOW IT CONTINUED

My morning continued with praying for a friend and her family while in the shower. (The shower, no matter where I may be, has been my sanctuary for nearly 20 years.) I heard the Lord say, “Before praying for increase, decrease what needs to be decreased and release what needs to be released to avoid cross-contamination.”

I don’t believe this word is solely for my friend and her family or just for me. I believe it’s a time-sensitive prompting for the Body of Christ.

We want the rush.

We are thirsty for the pour.

We are petitioning heaven for BREAKTHROUGH.

But before we stretch out in preparation for expansion, reduction and elimination must occur. And the time is NOW.

Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. 3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities. (Isaiah 54:2-3)

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

• Seek the Lord about how He wants to flood your life in unimaginable ways and places.

• Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the weights and sins that are contaminating your time, attention, finances, faith, and desires.

• What needs to be reduced and what must be released?

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ² looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1)

Consecrate yourselves, therefore, and be holy, for I am [Yahweh] your God. (Leviticus 20:7)

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae

Can’t keep going back

to what I used to know

Lord, please hold my hand

as I go down this road

The lyrics of Madison Ryann Ward’s “Familiar” replayed in my heart as a precursor to intentional stillness. Personally curated quiet spaces are where I commune with the Holy One of Heaven. Here is where I am free to be my vulnerable-honest-soft-surrendered-disappointed-angry self without worry of repercussion. Here, I pour it all out as whatever version of me exists at that time. My Father/Potter is safe. My Redeemer/Rabbi is safe. My Comforter/Teacher is safe.

What’s behind me will never be greater than what is ahead of me. The thought came, and then the Word came…

¹² Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. ¹³ Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, ¹⁴ I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14, NKJV)

The unfolding of a life surrendered to Christ is an experience of having and still receiving, being and still becoming. Paul did ALL THE THINGS: He was a pure-blooded Hebrew born into the tribe of Benjamin and circumcized at 8 days old. He studied and strictly obeyed Jewish laws and customs, first as a youth and then as a Pharisee. He mastered what we at Change Church call “Second Way” living. (Shout out to PD and my Change Global fam!) Practicing religion was muscle memory to Saul before he became Paul. Yet, there was another way. A greater way. The Third Way.

For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. We then, as workers together with Him, also plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain. (2 Corinthians 5:21 - 6:1)

According to Romans 3:22, all who believe and receive Jesus as Lord are the righteousness of God…and there is still a becoming. A journey of learning how to be who we already are. I am still learning to become who I am.

Faith without works is dead. That’s a FACT. The challenge is not only discerning my desires from God’s will but also maintaining the right heart posture.

Am I relying on myself or God?

Am I pleasing Yahweh or people?

Am I being led by the Spirit or my intellect?

What I know about me is that chronic independence is always within earshot. It is always calling out, enticing me to return to the false sense of control that once held me captive.

Can’t keep going back

to what I used to know

Lord, please hold my hand

as I go down this road

Thankfully, Third Way righteousness values surrender over perfection. It is all faith and no facades. Third Way is being aware of who I presently am, knowing there is a higher, more refined version of me awaiting, and then not attempting to close the gap in my strength. There is grace (and peace) in knowing that both versions belong to Christ and are in Christ. He is the Author and Finisher of my faith; He who writes the story determines the pace.

As I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, I am thankful that the press is a partnership between my surrender and the Holy Spirit’s leading.

Thank You, Lord, for always supplying strength for the journey.

Sincerely,

LaToya NaShae